I hadn’t really prepared a post for today. I haven’t read anything exciting, or talked to any authors, or done anything particularly geeky. (At least, nothing more than normal.)
I thought about writing “Five Ways Board Games Rock” or “Five Ways to tell if your Parents are (Secretly) Aging Rockstars”. But both take some effort, and I’ve got a jigsaw to finish.
Then I read Anthony Lee Collins’s latest post, and thought: A character meme! How awesomely awesome! (That description was especially for you, Brian Buckley.) So, here goes. My first (and possibly) last meme. Enjoy! And then go and enjoy Anthony’s answers as well.
A Character Meme: Pick 12 of your favourite original characters and then answer the following questions. (Note: Pick your characters before reading the questions!)
Since the names don’t mean much to anyone else, I thought I’d make this easier on you and list the characters by description.
- The Hero
- The Hot Prophetess
- The Biker Troll
- The Private Eye
- The Thief
- The Secret Prince
- The Homicide Detective
- The Interdimensional Detective
- The Faerie Queen
- The Teenage Girl
- The Goblin
- The Vampire
1. Who would make a better college professor: The Secret Prince (6) or The Goblin (11)?
Well, the Goblin can’t talk and has all the decorum of a doorknob. On the other hand, the Secret Prince’s only real skills are sneaking out of home, eating odd food, and dreaming about being someone other than himself. I’m pretty sure most college students already know how to do those things, so I’ll go with the Goblin.
2. Do you think The Hot Prophetess (2) is hot? How hot?
3. The Vampire (12) send The Interdimensional Detective (8) on a mission. What is it and does it succeed?
The Vampire’s home has been invaded and a magical artifact stolen. He contacts the authorities, who sends The Interdimensional Detective to retrieve it. In the process, she discovers that the stolen artifact is merely one part of a larger plot to undermine the Council of Nine Worlds, and finds herself drawn into a web of intrigue that threatens to destroy everything she holds dear. She saves the Worlds and defeats the bad guys, but unfortunately the magical artifact is destroyed in the process. So, technically the answer is no.
4. What is, or would be, The Faerie Queen’s (9) favourite book?
The Dummies Guide to Being Human. (If it doesn’t exist, it should.)
5. What would make more sense, for The Hot Prophetess (2) to swear fealty to The Secret Prince (6) or the other way around?
I would suggest that this answer speaks for itself.
6. For some reason, The Thief (5) is looking for a room-mate. Should he share a studio apartment with The Faerie Queen (9) or The Teenage Girl (10)?
Firstly, I know exactly why The Thief is looking for a room-mate. It’s because he’s a tool. His last room-mate left after being tricked into paying all of the rent for six months. Since it would be ethically and morally wrong to leave a teenage girl alone with him for any length of time, I’m going to have to go with The Faerie Queen. Of course, she doesn’t share very well. I give it six hours before The Thief is sleeping on the street.
7. The Hot Prophetess (2), The Homicide Detective (7) and The Vampire (12) have dinner together. Where do they go and what do they discuss?
They don’t so much have dinner together, as they meet outside a fancy French restaurant. The Hot Prophetess tells someone The Vampire is going to bite them, and The Homicide Detective breaks up the ensuing conflict.
8. The Biker Troll (3) challenges The Teenage Girl (10) to a duel. What happens?
The Biker Troll has every advantage, but can’t bring himself to hurt a little girl. The Teenage Girl wins by default.
9. If The Hero (1) stole The Interdimensional Detective’s (8) most precious possession, how would they get it back?
This question stumped me for a bit, because I can’t imagine The Hero stealing anything at all, and the Interdimensional Detective doesn’t have any possessions that she cares about very much. Then it came to me. He steals her heart! And when their relationship inevitably crashes and burns (because he’s in love with someone else), she “gets it back” by faking criminal charges against him and having him hunted down and locked away. (Nothing’s more dangerous than a woman scorned.)
10. Suggest a title for a story in which The Homicide Detective (7) and The Vampire (12) both attain what they most desire.
And Justice for All
11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted The Hero (1) and The Private Eye (4) to work together?
I’d put the life of The Teenage Girl in danger. It’s actually the plot of my WIP.
12. If The Homicide Detective (7) visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
I think we’d get along pretty well, although we wouldn’t have much in common. Possibly I could ask him about the worst murders he’s seen so I can use the details in my writing. Or maybe it would just get awkward.
13. If you could command The Biker Troll (3) to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
I don’t know if commanding a loyal and yet bad-tempered troll to do anything is a good idea. But I might ask him nicely if he’d take me for a ride on his tricked-out Harley.
14. Do any of your friends resemble The Goblin (11)? (Either in appearance or personality.)
The Goblin is a three-foot tall, stone grey creature with pointy ears, a flat nose, and no sense of modesty. Strangely, I don’t know anyone who looks like that. Although his personality is a little like my four-year-old son on a bad day.
15. If The Hot Prophetess (2) had to choose sides between The Private Eye (4) and The Thief (5), who would it be?
It would depend on what she’d seen for them in the future. It would probably be The Private Eye, though, because he’s an all-round nicer person.
16. What might The Teenage Girl (10) shout while charging into battle?
Battle? Um… “Team Edward!!!!”
17. If you chose a song to represent The Interdimensional Detective (8), what would it be?
18. The Hero (1), The Secret Price (6) and The Vampire (12) are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
The Hero and The Secret Prince are both too gentlemanly to eat it, and The Vampire doesn’t eat…. food. So it goes uneaten. (So it would seem. But when they’re leaving The Hero takes it and eats it, because he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to afford his next meal.)
19. What might be a good pick-up line for The Hot Prophetess (2) to use on The Teenage Girl (10)?
I think I’ll leave that to the slash writers. Neither of them are interested.
20. What would The Thief (5) most likely be arrested for?
Indecent exposure. No, wait. Vagrancy. Just kidding. How about we stick with the obvious and say… Trespassing.
21. What is The Secret Prince’s (6) secret?
I promise I didn’t read the questions before I picked these characters!
22. If The Goblin (11) and The Faerie Queen (9) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
The Faerie Queen. She plays dirtier.
23. If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of The Homicide Detective (7) or The Interdimensional Detective (8)?
It depends on if a “bad neighbourhood” is more likely to includes muggers, rapists and murderers, or witches, warlocks and vampires.
24. The Hero (1) and The Faerie Queen (9) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by The Private Eye’s (4) sinister secret organisation. The Goblin (11) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for The Private Eye (4). Meanwhile, The Private Eye (4) has kidnapped The Vampire (12) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of The Thief (5), they seek out The Biker Troll (3), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this story?
Blood is Thicker than Water