Single White Wii-Fit

A few months ago, we were fortunate enough to have a friend give us a Nintendo Wii, WiiFit Plus and Balance Board. I was a bit dubious about the exercise potential of the whole setup initially, but after doing 30-50 minutes exercise every evening for the last two and a half months, I’m a total convert. I’m losing weight, toning muscles and, best of all, having fun doing it.

Plus, it’s nice to have the highest score in every aerobic exercise, yoga pose, and balance game on there. Competitive, much?

One of the most annoying irritating stupid pointless endearing things the WiiFit does is engage you in a little small talk when you turn it on.

Good evening, Jo. Are the stars looking beautiful tonight?

Initially, I ignored these little gems and pressed the A button as quickly as possible to get to the actual games exercises. But as time went on, I started engaging the WiiFit in conversation.

Good evening, Jo. Don’t forget to brush your teeth before you go to bed.

Thanks for the reminder, WiiFit!

It’s a long time since I’ve seen Pete…

I know, me too. He’s been busy.

Don’t forget to visit every day for best results.

Thanks! I will.

I’d reached the point where I almost looked forward to the odd little bits of conversation each night. But then it happened.

The WiiFit went too far.

It’s one thing to engage me in conversation about the state of my oral hygiene, but another to start offering me relationship advice.

The fateful conversation occurred a few nights ago:

Good evening, Jo. You haven’t missed seeing me all week. I’m touched.

Thanks, WiiFit. I love you, too.

Let’s talk about your husband.

Oka– Wait. What?

How have you noticed your husband has been looking lately: Slimmer? Leaner? Fatter? No change?

Uhm…. No real change?

Oh. Oh, that’s a shame. Change is always good, don’t you think?

Ye-es. Sure. Change is good.

Maybe you should pay more attention to your husband.

What? What are you implying? You think I don’t pay attention to him?

Let’s talk about something else…

Yes, let’s. Good idea.

Scientists have shown that dogs who receive praise from their trainers are more likely to continue their good behaviour.

Wait. Are we talking about something else, here? Or are we back to talking about my husband?

At which point the WiiFit conveniently stopped the conversation.

I’m not going to lie: I had no idea Nintendo was into relationship counselling. But I would have just written it off if not for theΒ events the following night…

There was no conversation at all from WiiFit when I started it up. Very quiet. Sullen, even. And when I clicked on my favourite yoga pose to get started, something odd happened.

The wrong trainer showed up.

Hello. Your normal trainer is busy, so I’m going to be helping you with your training tonight.

Busy?! Doing what?!

Seducing my husband?

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17 Comments

Filed under Random Stuff, The Inner Geek

17 responses to “Single White Wii-Fit

  1. Pingback: Single White WiiFit | The Happy Logophile

  2. ava

    Weeeeeeeeeee! πŸ™‚ Cracked me up real good. Hahahahaha! We have one too (not the wii fit but the standard one) but dear husband have put it back in the box. Sad. I was so going for boxing, my officemate testified the exercise did really help her with losing weight and then toning. I’ll ask him to set it up again tonight. Thanks Ms. Jo.

    • I love the rhythm boxing. A good 10 minutes of that, and I feel like I’ve done a nice workout. Despite the snarky comments, I really do love my WiiFit. After two and a half months of daily use, I’ve lost about 3kg (nearly 7lb) and can really feel the difference in my muscle tone. So definitely get it set up again!

  3. I LOVE this post! I am on the Wii Fit almost every day, and have been using it for a few years now (before the twins were born!). And I also engage in conversation with it. I’m glad I’m not the only one. But it does overstep it’s bounds a little bit at times. πŸ™‚

  4. Ha! We’ve got a Wii Fit, too… and it can be a bit snarky at times. Snarky enough that I wasn’t sure, upon reading this, whether this story was fiction or not because I really can see the Wii Fit saying stuff like that…

    Dear Wife and I get guff for not visiting more often. But most nights, if there’s a choice between Wii Fit or writing – and there’s really no way I could do both most of the time – well… writing wins.

    • Oh, this is defintely not fictional. Replace the phrase with my husband’s name, and you’ve got exactly what happened.

      The down side to exercising every night is that it does cut into my only real writing time. It was a big decision to choose exercise over writing, and I agonised and felt guilty over it for ages. But I think I did the right thing. I can see and feel the health benefits, and it means that when I do get time to write, my brain is more active and I have more energy/stamina.

      But then, I’m quite a few years older than you. I wouldn’t have felt the same way ten years ago. πŸ™‚

      • Yeah, I didn’t mean to denigrate the choice to exercise. In my ideal world, I have time both for exercising and for writing. There is some exercising I could be doing right now that wouldn’t cut into writing time (I walk the dog every morning, but really I should be running the dog, although my knees aren’t what they used to be, already). But other than that, Wii Fit and writing are pretty much mutually exclusive for me.

      • I didn’t take it that way. πŸ™‚ I know what you mean — in my ideal world, I’d have plenty of time for exercise and writing as well, and possibly even the opportunity to go to the bathroom on my own, and have a shower without a small boy coming in to watch. πŸ™‚

      • Oh my goodness, yes, on the shower/privacy stuff.

        I didn’t know that stuff came with becoming a parent. I mean… I had no idea, for whatever reason, that a toddler would have 0 comprehension of personal boundaries and all that stuff, and want to play peek-a-boo while I showered. (And why not, I suppose? A shower curtain makes a great peak-a-boo hidey-thingy.)

      • Likewise. For some reason, I just expected that small children would have more interesting things to do than wander in and watch me in the bathroom. My nearly-5-year-old still does it too, although mostly that’s so that he can tell me a story uninterrupted by his little (non-walking) brother.

  5. Hahaha! I’ve been known to curse during WiiFit activities so if mine starts talking back I’m afraid of what it will say.

  6. I really don’t think the Wii should be offering relationship advice. At least, that’s what Siri tells me.

  7. Pingback: Celebrate! It’s a new year! | The Happy Logophile

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