A few months ago, we were fortunate enough to have a friend give us a Nintendo Wii, WiiFit Plus and Balance Board. I was a bit dubious about the exercise potential of the whole setup initially, but after doing 30-50 minutes exercise every evening for the last two and a half months, I’m a total convert. I’m losing weight, toning muscles and, best of all, having fun doing it.
Plus, it’s nice to have the highest score in every aerobic exercise, yoga pose, and balance game on there. Competitive, much?
One of the most
annoying irritating stupid pointless endearing things the WiiFit does is engage you in a little small talk when you turn it on.
Good evening, Jo. Are the stars looking beautiful tonight?
Initially, I ignored these little gems and pressed the A button as quickly as possible to get to the actual
games exercises. But as time went on, I started engaging the WiiFit in conversation.
Good evening, Jo. Don’t forget to brush your teeth before you go to bed.
Thanks for the reminder, WiiFit!
It’s a long time since I’ve seen Pete…
I know, me too. He’s been busy.
Don’t forget to visit every day for best results.
Thanks! I will.
I’d reached the point where I almost looked forward to the odd little bits of conversation each night. But then it happened.
The WiiFit went too far.
It’s one thing to engage me in conversation about the state of my oral hygiene, but another to start offering me relationship advice.
The fateful conversation occurred a few nights ago:
Good evening, Jo. You haven’t missed seeing me all week. I’m touched.
Thanks, WiiFit. I love you, too.
Let’s talk about your husband.
Oka– Wait. What?
How have you noticed your husband has been looking lately: Slimmer? Leaner? Fatter? No change?
Uhm…. No real change?
Oh. Oh, that’s a shame. Change is always good, don’t you think?
Ye-es. Sure. Change is good.
Maybe you should pay more attention to your husband.
What? What are you implying? You think I don’t pay attention to him?
Let’s talk about something else…
Yes, let’s. Good idea.
Scientists have shown that dogs who receive praise from their trainers are more likely to continue their good behaviour.
Wait. Are we talking about something else, here? Or are we back to talking about my husband?
At which point the WiiFit conveniently stopped the conversation.
I’m not going to lie: I had no idea Nintendo was into relationship counselling. But I would have just written it off if not for the events the following night…
There was no conversation at all from WiiFit when I started it up. Very quiet. Sullen, even. And when I clicked on my favourite yoga pose to get started, something odd happened.
The wrong trainer showed up.
Hello. Your normal trainer is busy, so I’m going to be helping you with your training tonight.
Busy?! Doing what?!
Seducing my husband?