You Have to Be Brave to Get Married

Have I mentioned before that 5-year-old Big Brother is a big thinker? He’ll hear something or see something and think on it for days or weeks before talking to us about it. Lately, he’s had questions about piercings, tattoos and growing up.

“Does it hurt to get your ear pierced?” he asked. After a brief explanation of the level of pain involved, he thought for a few minutes and then said, “I don’t think I’ll get my ears pierced. Except maybe when I’m a grown up.”

I’m pretty happy with that.

“Why doesn’t a tattoo wash off?” he asked. So we told him about tattoos and needles, and my husband explained how it felt to get his done. A few days later, Big Brother asked me, “Do you give the doctor a picture of whatever you want?” After a bit of elaborations (Oh! You’re talking about tattoos!), I explained that, even though doctors are the ones who give you vaccinations, you see a tattoo artist for a tattoo. After a bit more conversation on the subject, Big Brother said thoughtfully, “Did you know vampires aren’t real anymore because they died before the dinosaurs came?”

That was my first clue the conversation was over.“When will I know the name of the person I’m going to marry?” he asked the other day.

He sounded serious so I stopped folding the washing and sat down with him. “Well,” I said. “One day when you’re grown up, you’ll meet someone and get to know them. Every time you think about them, you’ll feel a special kind of love in your heart. And that’s how you’ll know they’re the person you want to marry.”

He thought about that. “When will I be a Daddy?” he asked.

“When you have a baby,” I answered. I waited to see if he wanted me to elaborate further, but that answer seemed to satisfy him. (I make it a point not to over-complicate things. It’s very easy to answer the question I think he was asking rather than the question he was actually asking.)

He was quiet for a couple of minutes, his fingers fiddling with the toy he’d forgotten he was holding while his mind whirred. Eventually he asked, “What if I feel them in my heart but I’m too afraid to get married?”

I smiled. “Well, sometimes that happens. Getting married is a very big deal.”

He sighed and gave me a knowing look. “You have to be brave to get married.”

True that, boyo.



Filed under Life With Kids

10 responses to “You Have to Be Brave to Get Married

  1. That’s a bright little fella you got there, Jo.

  2. God I love him! I love the way his mind works and I love the way you share it so eloquently.

  3. Your son is brighter than a good percentage of people who have taken the plunge.

  4. Awesome answers, Jo. I love that you said, “they” and “them” instead of “she.” Love love love.

    • Thanks, Kim. You know, I hadn’t actually noticed my non-gender-specific terms until you pointed them out. *smile* I guess we all share our politics and beliefs every time we blog, whether we intend to or not. 🙂

  5. Brave & probably a little bit crazy.

Speak to me.

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