When I was in school, I was bullied.
I was taunted and teased and called names.
I was pushed and shoved.
They splashed water on my skirt and told everyone I peed myself.
They sat behind me and threw things at me in every. single. class.
For a year.
“Just ignore them and they’ll go away.”
But they didn’t.
Sometimes they’d pretend to be my friend. Just for a little while. They’d sit beside me, and laugh, and talk, and tell me they were sorry they’d been so mean. Sorry they’d call me names, it was just… They’d look me in the eye. It was just… I’d be much more popular if I’d only slit my wrists. Or stop breathing. Or just hurry up and die.
They’d laugh when they went back to their real friends. Laughter. A sound that could shatter my soul at a hundred paces. And I’d just sit there where they left me. Silently. Holding back the tears and wishing it didn’t hurt and I hadn’t believed just a little bit for just a second just believed that they really did want to be my friend. Wishing I didn’t feel betrayed all over again. Wishing. Wishing I couldn’t feel anything. And thinking that maybe just maybe they were right. Maybe just maybe I’d be better off dead.
“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.”
Tell me again how words will never hurt me.
The words are still there. Way down beneath the surface of my smile. Mostly, they’re still. Silent. But sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they stab and poke at me from the inside of my heart. Nerd. Loser. Square. Ugly. Four eyes. Freak. Goat. Nobody will love you. You should just die. Don’t touch her, she’s disgusting.Ugly. Nerd. Wrong clothes. Wrong hair. Wrong words. Wrongwrongwrong. Hatehatehate.
But it’s not just me.
Shane Koyczan was also bullied when he was in school.
He made a video.
It’s like he put a stethoscope to my heart and made a movie of my pain. And then he added hope and a happy ending.
Watch this. Please.
Were you bullied at school?