Tag Archives: when i grow up

Conversations with Children: When I Grow Up I’ll Be Rich

Dollar Sign

“It would be really cool to be a robber, wouldn’t it?.”

We’re in the car, on our way home from dance class, and Big Brother is thinking out loud.

“When I grow up, I’ll be a robber. Then I’ll be rich. Right, Mummy?”

“Yep,” I say. “You’ll be rich right up until they put you in jail.”

He thinks for a minute and then says, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be a Good Guy robber. And first I’ll tell the police that I’m going to help them.”

I have to admit, I’m intrigued. But I don’t quite understand the difference between a Bad Guy Robber and a Good Guy Robber. “How do you be a Good Guy robber?”

“Well… I’ll only rob from Bad Guys.”

He pauses, and I let him work out his plan.

“Bad robbers only rob people at night. Because they’re bad. So I’ll wait until the morning when the Bad robbers will have to be asleep, and then I’ll sneak into their secret hideouts and I’ll steal all their gold and money and jewels and crystals.”

I can’t help it. I have to ask. “And what will you do with the money you steal?”

He doesn’t even hesitate. “I’ll give it to other people.”

Awww… That’s lovely. “Anyone in particular?”

I glance in the rear-view mirror to see him shrug. “Anyone who needs to money.”

“Okay,” I say. “That’s really nice. And you think the police will be okay with that?”

“Oh, yes,” he says confidently. “Because then I’ll sneak into the police station and I’ll tell them where the Bad Guy Robbers have their secret hideouts. And then the police can go and arrest them.”

“But they won’t arrest you?”

“No. I’m a Good Guy.”

I’m glad he’s got it all worked out. But there’s one thing I’m still confused about.

“So, let me get this straight,” I say. “You’re going to wait until morning–”

“So the Bad Guys are asleep,” he interrupts.

“–so the Bad Guy Robbers are asleep. Then you’re going to sneak into the bad guy’s hideout and steal all the money and jewels they’ve stolen from other people–”

“And crystals!”

“–and crystals. Sorry. Then you’re going to tell the police where to find the Bad Guys, and you’re going to give all the money away to other people. Right?”

“Right.”

“So how is this going to make you rich?” I ask.

He sighs. That long-suffering five-year-old sigh I know so well.

“Oh, Mummy. I’m going to give all the money away to people who need it. But I’m going to keep the crystals. You know, like diamonds and rubies and emeralds…”

“Ah.”

“Do you understand now?”

Oh yes, I understand. But we may need to move to a bigger house to accommodate his Merry Men.

And his “crystals”.

 

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When I grow up…

Big Brother has reached that age where he’s started talking about what he’s going to be when he grows up. He’s been through a few ideas so far, none of which have stood the test of time. But it’s been an interesting progression.

First he was going to be a Knight in Shining Armour.

Then he was going to be a policeman.

(This lasted for a few months, which is a bit of an achievement at age 4. He changed his mind only when he discovered that while it’s possible to be a “motorcycle policeman” or a “horse policeman”, the Australian Police Force isn’t advanced enough to let him be a “skateboard policeman”.)

Now, he’s moved on to something new. But this time, he’s made a list. 

1) When I grow up… I’ll eat yucky food.

You know, “yucky food” that kids don’t like, but grown-ups do. Like steak and mushrooms and fish and chicken wings. (He’s not much of a meat eater…) And, of course, he’ll be able to drink Daddy’s Yucky Juice, aka soft drink, and Mummy’s Yucky Juice, aka wine.

2) When I grow up… I’ll watch bad TV with Mummy and Daddy.

On rare occasions, Husband and I wait until the boys are in bed and then watch Castle, or Bones, or The Mentalist. I explained to Big Brother that he can’t watch them because they’re not good shows for kids. Clearly that makes them “bad TV”.

3) When I grow up… I’ll have my own tractor.

I have no explanation for this. We don’t know anyone with a tractor.

4) When I grow up… I’ll have my own farm.

As above. Did I mention we live in the city? And Big Brother freaks out if he gets dirt on his hands?

5) When I grow up… I’ll be a Super Hero!

 

 

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